Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows, they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

With a brand new adaptation coming to Netflix on Friday 13th of January, we thought we’d suggest some treats to sustain you as you reread these miserable childhood classics…

Summary – Violet, Klaus and Sunny are talented orphans, pursued from one eccentric home to another by the scheming Count Olaf. As the children use their skills to defend the enormous Baudelaire fortune, they find themselves at the centre of a sinister mystery. What is the VFD? What became of the Quagmire triplets? And what caused the fire that destroyed the Baudelaire mansion and killed their parents?

The Perfect Drink – In The Ersatz Elevator, the Baudelaire orphans are given Aqueous Martinis by their eccentric and fashion conscious new guardians. These turn out to be no more than water and an olive, served in a fancy glass. When aqueous martinis go out of fashion, they are replaced by repulsive parsley soda. If you’d like something a little tastier, try a cup of peppermint tea. All three of the Baudelaire orphans are allergic to peppermints, but don’t let this deter you! Peppermint tea will warm and refresh you as you read the thirteen books in Lemony Snicket’s depressing series, from The Bad Beginning to The End. 

The Perfect Snack – The Series of Unfortunate Events books are packed with meals, most of them abhorrent. The unfortunate Baudelaires encounter roads that smell overwhelmingly of horseradish, chew miserably on ‘cheer-up cheeseburgers’ at The Anxious Clown, sip chilled cucumber soup beside a leech infested lake, endure endless salmon at Café Salmonella, and slave over Pasta Puttanesca for Count Olaf and his theatrical gang. It’s rare that the Baudelaires enjoy a tasty meal, but when they do it’s always memorable! In The Reptile Room, Uncle Monty welcomes the Baudelaires with thick slices of coconut cream cake. A serving of fluffy, moist sponge, layered with sweet cream and toasted coconut would make a delicious and comforting antidote to the miserable lives of the Baudelaires.

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If you’re in the mood for something savoury, why not try Beatrice Baudelaire’s signature dish – a salad of sliced mango, black beans, and chopped celery mixed with black pepper, lime juice, and olive oil. Before she died, she confided in Sunny that although it wasn’t a complicated recipe, ‘if I arrange the salad very nicely on fancy plates, people will think I’ve been cooking all day.’ A well presented salad bursting with juicy mango and sharp lime may well deceive dinner guests – it’ll also sustain you as you read.

The Perfect Place –  January days are short, grey and gloomy, which makes them an ideal match for A Series of Unfortunate Events! Read about the tragic lives of the Baudelaire orphans and feel your own problems fade into happy insignificance…

How would you read A Series of Unfortunate Events? Let us know in the comments below! We’d love to hear from you!

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